The New Character
posted on Friday, October 8, 2004 @ 11:11 pm
Friend: Did you see the new character on “皆大歡喜”?
Vickie: The one played by 馬浚偉 (Steven Ma)? Yes, what about him?
Friend: The two of you are really alike.
Vickie: Alike? How so?
Friend: You know, you’re stuck up, selfish and stupid juuust like the character.
Vickie: ……
Friend: Haha
Vickie: Fuck off 
Shocking Discovery
posted on Thursday, January 29, 2004 @ 11:16 pm
There’s something I’ve never guessed, never realised, would have never thought of, living 19 years of my life so far, until today…
I was walking to the train station after school with two of my closer guy classmates, when one of them felt the urge to relief himself. As we’re walking to the washrooms, they randomly told me that the male washroom was renovated, and was no longer having the “central system”.
“Central system?” I asked.
And then, there, after 19 years of ignorance, I learnt, shockingly, that guys don’t always get their own urinal in a public washroom. Not always in Hong Kong anyway.
Huh? They (sometimes) have to share a huge urinal with all the other men? There’ll (sometimes) be a “waterfall” on the wall in front of them if they go into public washrooms like that? What?!
I’ve never understood how guys could just unzip and do their business in front of everybody in the first place. And oftentimes, as a girl, I already feel uncomfortable knowing that the other female (supposedly) next stalls would be able to hear what I’m doing when I’m fulfilling my biological needs.
Sharing a “urinal”…?!
Some day when I cut my hair short, I’ll spare a day and visit all the cleaner male restrooms around Hong Kong to prove my interesting discovery. When, one day, I also get my hands on one of those spiffy male urinal thingies (for medical purpose), I might also try emptying my bladder like most guys do daily.
Oh what the hell. I’ll pee, piss, and urinate like most guys do. (Google me, pervs!)
That Football Match
posted on Monday, August 11, 2003 @ 9:26 pm
What you see from the news:
The Hong Kong Stadium can accommodate a maximum of 46,000 spectators depending on the event configuration. 40,000 are situated in the stands and an additional temporary 6,000 can be located on the field area.
What you don’t:
There was a giant bee hive at the back of the stadium.
What you do:
Figo scored, and Ronaldo scored, then Wang Peng scored, then Ronaldo again, and Raul, and Li Yao scored!
What you don’t:
Six people got stung by the bees.
What you do:
Spanish giants Real Madrid tasted its third victory in Asia tour 2003 by defeating Hong Kong 4-2.
What you don’t:
A girl who got stung was in shock and was sent to the hospital.
Behold! Your Future Miss HK
posted on Tuesday, August 5, 2003 @ 8:29 pm
The Miss Hong Kong 2003 Semi-Finals was on last Sunday, but our whole family missed it because we watched Ralf Schumacher, Barrichello and so on all piled up in the first few seconds, and the last few minutes where the other Schumacher’s tyre exploded.
No remorse, pity, regret whatsoever for missing the beauty pageant. Oh wait, Ricky Martin was there, so maybe a little. It’s not every year a foreign celebrity comes to the show.
*sigh* Since when has the Miss Hong Kong competition become too outrageous and disgraceful to watch?
“A Miss Hong Kong with beauty and talent.”
Or so they say.
We did manage to watch the last bit of the competition after Michael Schumacher’s tyre went flat, actually. And oh yeh, the results were very shocking indeed. Beauties, there were beauties; not all the semi-finalists.
Then it comes to me that, apparently, if you sleep with somebody famous, you’ll get a better chance. In fact, if you were nominated by that famous somebody preferably after sleeping with them, you’re almost guaranteed a title.
“A Miss Hong Kong with beauty and talent.”
HA!
A lot of people have asked me to join the competition. My grandma is even trying to get Jackie Chan to nominate me.
Oh yes, this Jackie Chan.
I’m going to win. Don’t you think?
We are the Supernaturals
posted on Monday, July 28, 2003 @ 11:57 pm
Apologies, the Chinese Teenage Lesbian couldn’t update because she was very upset about Hong Kong losing 6 goals to Liverpool in a football match yesterday. Did I say upset? I mean her stomach was upset because she was laughing so much. *sigh* We’re pathetic.
Anyway, back to the entry with more educational stuff (uh?).
Apparently, we Hong Kong people are supernatural beings when it comes to losing weight.
Evidence #1
“Taking this tiny Contains-Ingredient-X pill once a day will not only help you lose weight effortlessly, you will also take in 5000 vital vitamins at the same time!”
Famous female celebrity says, “It works! I lost 50lbs in 2 days!!”
Evidence #2
“Want firmer thighs? Just rub our Allergy-Triggering-Hypoallergic gel on and you’ll feel your fat being burnt off instantly!”
Famous female celebrity #2 says, “It works! I could actually feel my fat decomposing to the heat!”
Evidence #3
“We guarantee you will lose up to 6 inches after one massage. Come to Sue-Me-Today-Centre today. Sign up now and receive one free trial!”
Famous female celebrity #3 says, “It works! I slimmed down 6 inches in half an hour!”
Mother: Vickie, did you see that ad?
Me: I did. It’s…
Mother: It’s amazing! Free trial; let’s go tomorrow!
…
I’ve been talking about being a ‘Hong Konger’ quite often lately. I’m so patriotic.
DAMN! Hong Kong isn’t even a country!
