Vickiepedia

The Miss Hong Kong 2003 Semi-Finals was on last Sunday, but our whole family missed it because we watched Ralf Schumacher, Barrichello and so on all piled up in the first few seconds, and the last few minutes where the other Schumacher’s tyre exploded.

No remorse, pity, regret whatsoever for missing the beauty pageant. Oh wait, Ricky Martin was there, so maybe a little. It’s not every year a foreign celebrity comes to the show.

*sigh* Since when has the Miss Hong Kong competition become too outrageous and disgraceful to watch?

“A Miss Hong Kong with beauty and talent.”

Or so they say.

We did manage to watch the last bit of the competition after Michael Schumacher’s tyre went flat, actually. And oh yeh, the results were very shocking indeed. Beauties, there were beauties; not all the semi-finalists.

Then it comes to me that, apparently, if you sleep with somebody famous, you’ll get a better chance. In fact, if you were nominated by that famous somebody preferably after sleeping with them, you’re almost guaranteed a title.

“A Miss Hong Kong with beauty and talent.”

HA!

A lot of people have asked me to join the competition. My grandma is even trying to get Jackie Chan to nominate me.

Oh yes, this Jackie Chan.

I’m going to win. Don’t you think?

Apologies, the Chinese Teenage Lesbian couldn’t update because she was very upset about Hong Kong losing 6 goals to Liverpool in a football match yesterday. Did I say upset? I mean her stomach was upset because she was laughing so much. *sigh* We’re pathetic.

Anyway, back to the entry with more educational stuff (uh?).

Apparently, we Hong Kong people are supernatural beings when it comes to losing weight.

Evidence #1

“Taking this tiny Contains-Ingredient-X pill once a day will not only help you lose weight effortlessly, you will also take in 5000 vital vitamins at the same time!”

Famous female celebrity says, “It works! I lost 50lbs in 2 days!!”

Evidence #2

“Want firmer thighs? Just rub our Allergy-Triggering-Hypoallergic gel on and you’ll feel your fat being burnt off instantly!”

Famous female celebrity #2 says, “It works! I could actually feel my fat decomposing to the heat!”

Evidence #3

“We guarantee you will lose up to 6 inches after one massage. Come to Sue-Me-Today-Centre today. Sign up now and receive one free trial!”

Famous female celebrity #3 says, “It works! I slimmed down 6 inches in half an hour!”

Mother: Vickie, did you see that ad?

Me: I did. It’s…

Mother: It’s amazing! Free trial; let’s go tomorrow!

…

I’ve been talking about being a ‘Hong Konger’ quite often lately. I’m so patriotic.

DAMN! Hong Kong isn’t even a country!

Dreams… (and proper entry under them)

I dreamt that I was back in the UK again (I never forget that place, you see). I was packing to go back to Hong Kong, but the taxi to the airport had already arrived. I hadn’t finished packing so the taxi driver decided to drive around to charge me more… (probably because of yesterday’s incident). Suddenly I was packing in my old secondary school at 3:34 p.m.. My plane was at 3:36 p.m. – I obviously wouldn’t make it. I was still hurrying but couldn’t decide on which make-up to take as my bags were already full. The cleaning lady walked into the classroom…

And then another one. There are an old woman, Chiba Mamoru from SailorMoon, another woman, another man, and Lara Croft (the game character, not Angelina Jolie).

All of the people mentioned above were in a weird, green, dark, wet, yucky cave or something, and were forced to stay by the old woman. Lara went and pressed a button on the wall and an oven sprang open. The old woman gave her evils and took the four, five rolls of bread out from it. The people sat down and ate. The old woman told the boys that they had to wear a cape and they seemed to have expected it. Chiba Mamoru wore a white cape over a green cape over a red cape…

The second dream is just too weird…

My mother is currently obsessed with rearranging our baby pictures. By ‘our’ I mean my younger brother who’s 17 and me (18). It’s quite fun, actually, to look at all the older pictures.

1980s – bad fashion style, bad hair, everybody was fat
1990s – bad fashion style, bad hair, everybody was fat
2000s – looking back in ten years time: bad fashion style, bad hair, everybody was fat…

Gosh yes, all the skeletons in Hong Kong will be considered fat. FAT?! Guess what? I’m about 54kg and 1.63m tall, BMI = 20ish. Healthy, right? And guess what, I’m the biggest girl of the same age you can find here! I know I’m healthy (and pretty buff), but when I tell Hong Kong people my weight, they’d say, “Hmph, no offence, but I think you’re a bit on the overweight side.”

%*#$^%&*#