Vickiepedia

Guess what I did last night?

Yep, I had fun with trusty vibrator #2 again. (For your information, it’s my most favourite sex toy, so it shouldn’t surprise you that it’s mentioned all over the place.)

And of course, you guessed the rest of the story. I was too tired to put trusty vibrator #2 away after the mind-blowing orgasm, and completely forgot about it in the morning. My maid made my bed and must have known that I masturbated blah blah blah.

But there’s more to it this time.

This time my brother caught me forgetting to hide it…

Well, actually, trusty vibrator #2 doesn’t look too much like a sex toy anyway, so you might think that there isn’t much to worry about.

Not if my brother picked it up and asked what it was, then without a satisfying (no pun intended) answer, switched it on and saw it all vibrating and stuff.

Good god, why don’t I ever learn to tidy up after I use something?

Oh god, how embarrassing… how very embarrassing!

You know, I masturbate. I own vibrators and dildos. I like to do it before I sleep.

I did it last night, and had a terrific orgasm; so terrific that I fell asleep immediately after it. Oh yes, I used trusty vibrator #2.

I forgot about everything this morning. Got up, ate, shat, made a couple site layouts while watching TV… the day went on, until when I go back to my room again after supper…

I found that trusty vibrator #2 was just lying around my pillow.

Which means, I forgot to “hide” trusty vibrator #2 after my business.

Which means, when my maid (who lives with us at home) cleaned my room and tidied my bed, saw the vibrator just lying around like that.

Which also means, that she knew I masturbated last night using this vibrator.

How very embarrassing is that!

Excuse me while I try to increase my weird google hits.

Hello, my name is Vickie. I’m an eighteen year-old lesbian schoolgirl. Are you up for a gag?

As we all know, pussies lick their fur while grooming, squirrels eat nuts, dogs chase after balls, and cows are horny. That’s bestiality.

Speaking of animals, do you know what my ‘pet’ peeve is? People who spell come as cum really piss me off.

Oh and what do you call a group consisting of three musicians? Do you call them a triplet or a threesome? Oh wait, of course, you call them a trio.

I’ll shut up now, otherwise people are going to think I’m a pervert with inflatable tits.

Has this ever happened to other people, or was it just me?

Some months ago when I was still in England, Helen and I were in the school computer room using the Internet. The boarding house computers were not as cool as those at school, so we got to go and use the faster connection every Wednesday. I was trying to go onto neopets.com.

By the way, Neopets is a cool site. Feel free to click the link and join (and earn me a referral point!).

I was trying to type http://www.neopets.com.

http://ww…

“Vickie, blah blah blah blah blah.” Helen said.

“Blah? Blah blah blah.” I replied as I continued to type. [Enter]

“!!!” Helen.

I was confused by Helen’s reaction, so I turned back to the computer screen.

Heaven! It’s heaven! Nudity! Sexy ladies! Hardcore sex! Explicit Sex!

It turned out I typed http://wwwwet.com instead (I’m not linking it – don’t even think about it!). How did that happen? Was I having a spasm or something?

I burst into an uncontrollable laughter as Helen glared at me in horror. “Wet.com, hahahaha, wet.com!” I laughed so much I thought I was going to die.

“Err, Vickie…”

Then I stopped laughing. I forgot what sort of a situation I was in. I was at school, with a school staff somewhere behind me.

I jumped up and covered the screen. Stupid – I attracted even more attention. “Nothing, nothing. Just…” People turned and looked but immediately lost interest. What? How boring! I mean, *phew* lucky. Nobody else caught me; but hey, I didn’t even intend to go on the porn site!

I’m planning to become a private tutor. This is the ad that will be seen in shops very soon!

Private Home Tutor for English

Name: Vickie Diablos
Subject(s): English (Maths and Science if required)
Available Area: Hong Kong
Age Range(s): any
Qualification: HKCEE English – A; A-level Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics, Further Mathematics
Other: 2 years in Southern England; very fluent in both Cantonese and English
Contact Details: 2XXXXXXX

Damn, wish I could put this ad up as well.

Hot Sexy Lesbian Seeking Lesbian

Name: Vickie Diablos
Subject(s): homosexuality
Available Area: where the sun doesn’t shine
Age Range(s): 16 or above
Qualification: out of the closet
Other: grrrrrr
Contact Details: 2XXXXXXX 24-hour hotline. Call now, baby!

Just kidding.