Vickiepedia

This would have been the porn entry I mentioned 3 entries, 22 days ago, except lately, something has been troubling me.

Friend #1 sends pictures of Muscovy Ducks to Vickie.

Vickie: How do you tell the ducks apart?
Friend #1: Male ducks have a redder face.
Vickie: Female ducks are cuter than the male dicks.
Vickie: DUCKS

Friend #2 goes online.

Vickie: I’m bored.
Friend #2: Oh.
Vickie: I’m going to sperm your Facebook profile.
Vickie: SPAM

Man, what’s going on with my brain? Erm… Boy, what’s wrong with me? Dude!

ENGLISH, WHY MUST YOU WORK AGAINST ME?!

Dear Americans!

American English:
“Carefree” means “free from care or anxiety.”
The full stop / period does not belong to the phrase. ILLOGICAL!

British English:
“Carefree” means “free from care or anxiety”.
The full stop / period belongs to the sentence. LOGICAL!

Case in point! … Point… in case?

English makes no sense.

Aussies pronounce the alphabet H as “heych” instead of “eych”. So does it mean that they’d say “an A”, “a B”, “a C”… “a H” ?

People! Please listen to me! “Definately” is definitely not the proper spelling of definitely; “mispelling” is a misspelling; “alot” is the mistake a lot of people make; you never do something “for awhile” for a while; “could of”, “would of” and “should of” should have been could have, would have and should have; “alright” is not all right; “anyways” should not be used in any way, anyway! Ugh! Separate; grammar; embarrass. Their, thief; believe, receive; quite, quiet… Informality is awesome; but no!

Eh, but who am I, really? *activates self-defence mechanism*

Lecturer: Remember, no sandals or thongs in practical classes. Everything must be covered up.
Vickie (only half paying attention, suddenly alert): But… how do you even know if somebody is wearing a thong?!
Girl next to Vickie: Erm, thong shoes, maybe?

Oh. Ohhhh!