Vickiepedia

People! Please listen to me! “Definately” is definitely not the proper spelling of definitely; “mispelling” is a misspelling; “alot” is the mistake a lot of people make; you never do something “for awhile” for a while; “could of”, “would of” and “should of” should have been could have, would have and should have; “alright” is not all right; “anyways” should not be used in any way, anyway! Ugh! Separate; grammar; embarrass. Their, thief; believe, receive; quite, quiet… Informality is awesome; but no!

Eh, but who am I, really? *activates self-defence mechanism*

Lecturer: Remember, no sandals or thongs in practical classes. Everything must be covered up.
Vickie (only half paying attention, suddenly alert): But… how do you even know if somebody is wearing a thong?!
Girl next to Vickie: Erm, thong shoes, maybe?

Oh. Ohhhh!

Embarrassing events (which all happened to be language-related) of Vickie in descending order, less embarrassing first.

(5) I once mispronounced “pretentious” as pre-TEN-tee-ous instead of pre-TEN-cious when I was angry. What sound argument. </sarcasm>

(4) When some of my ex-classmates asked what “plagiarism” meant and how it was pronounced, and in order to prove to them that the English pronunciation was really easy, I broke the syllables into play-gee-AIR-rism by mistake, when I knew the word should be pronounced as PLAY-jar-rism. I sincerely hope that they’ve completely forgotten that word now.

(3) I once said clutches when I meant crutches. “Clutches?” “Yes, clutches.” In a formal presentation.

(2) I never knew lasagne was not pronounced as la-SAHG-na, until I said it out loud in front of 3 friends. Now I can’t eat lasagne without remembering that event and blushing.

(1) When I came out to an old friend (oh that was ages ago), she asked whether I’d come out to my parents as well. I didn’t know what “come out” meant back then and replied, “Yeh, we’d probably dine out.”

Unrelated to languages; but if my parents somehow discover Trusty #1 and Trusty #3 among my luggage later, that would so top the list…

De internez is suzh a greatz phlace. I have dis ulztra phainful ulczer or sore or whaztever you call itz in wmy wmouth, whiczh hurtz like hell whenevher I trwy to talk or eatz, and you can’tz evhen tell fromn de otzher side ofh da screen. I bhlame dose wmonthly horwmonal changes; bhut it’sz phossibhle dat I bhit mwy cheek withdout remwembhering it. Tomworrow — itz’ll hopvefully bhe bhetter tomworrow…

Can somweone trwanslate dat to English fwor mwe, phlease?

Apparently this has already been posted and read a million and one times on the numerous message boards out there, but I still found it interesting nonetheless.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Pretty cool, isn’t it? Now try this.

K-space… beautiful ripples…

Did anyone read it as “beautiful nipples” like I did…?

Oh. Never mind…