Vickiepedia

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it hasn’t even been a year yet and Vickiepedia already has a new layout. GASP! I know. Like all past layouts, this version can be viewed with background images disabled, all images disabled, CSS disabled, most modern browsers and any screen resolution from 1024×768 up. Remember, 90s is the new 80s, 800×600 is the new 640×480.

Food stain on the keyboard has been photoshopped out. But that fluffiness on the side of the I and 9 keys? I don’t know what they are. I didn’t dare to zoom in.

穎琪 would be my Chinese given name. I’m just that cool.

But I forgot to eat dinner.

Alternative version names: Bad Hair Day; Shiny Forehead; I’m Holding a Blue Cup?; There’s a Male Bum Behind Me; See, Even My Keyboard is Cooler than Yours.

Related:http://vickiepedia.org/ = Japanese, Japanese, Japanese. How, Google, are our sites related? Do we Asians all look the same to you? Is that so? Huh? Huh?

Google, you have a lot of explaining to do!

Up next some day: the entry on porn that I downloaded a virus for. (Wow, déjà vu.)

Stuck with Australia’s wonderful metred bandwidth, about to bust this month’s cap, forced self to surf during offpeak i.e. midnight, brain too tired to function, doing research on porn for upcoming blog entry, downloaded porn from non-usual sources, saw a .exe, heard Brain say, “You no give me rest, I no make you judgement.” Whatever that meant. Ran .exe, watched anti-virus try to block and remove virus in vain, adrenaline rush, jaw dropped to floor.

Vickie: What the fuck, Brain?
Brain: What the fuck, Vickie?

Regained composure, googled for fix, downloaded fix, rebooted computer in safe mode, blurry, blurry, blurry, blurry, fell asleep on chair, drooled.

Woke up to a computer free of virus, unused drivers removed, registry cleaned up, beautifully defragged. Blinked.

Vickie: … What the fuck, Brain?!
Brain: What the fuck, Vickie.

Up next some day: the entry on porn that I downloaded a virus for.

Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster,

I pray, when you boot me up from sleep mode next morning, please grant me the following plugin / software on my humble human body.

1. Pronunciation checker:

   

   (I’d ask for a grammar checker, too, but let’s start with the basics, shall we?)

2. Search function:

   

   (I promise, I’ll search for more meaningful things and answers once I find my other stripy sock.)

3. Strong and emphasis tags:

   

4. Appear offline function:

   

5. Maybe also a lesbiandar?! Wow, let’s not be too greedy there.

Actually, don’t worry about any of the above. Please cleanse me of “Procrastination” because it’s a total RAM hog, and I kinda have 1 more mid-semester exam and 2 essays to hand in soon.

Have mercy on me, O FSM. RAmen!

Vickie

Read your long but nicely written blog entry, thought up something nice to say, clicked “write a comment” and your blogging software of choice made me join their service first. Reading your long and very hyperlinked blog entry; hey wait a minute, it’s a frigging sponsored post! Reading your long blog entry; okay, I can’t even read what you’re writing. What happened to line-height and colour contrast?

University assignments have drained me of my intelligence and coherence (if applicable); I’m reduced to saying all but four words: What the fuck, people?