Vickiepedia

Ahem, back to normal. Obviously the shittiness from yesterday has gone. Felt a lot better knowing that my brother actually didn’t know, that I updated my diary after he sent his Neomail. That could happen, of course. He sent his Neomail, I replied in my entry, but somehow he hasn’t got the update… hmm… has that got anything to do with geographical locations? Anyway, he sent me about 11 Neomails in one go (lots are copies of the same messages, in case they don’t get to me). With this new layout, I’m sure he won’t miss any entry, since there’s this Last 5 Entries thing on the left. And of course it is not an obligation for him to read them all in the first place.

Have been having a lot of weird dreams lately, yet another last night. Zombies again. Why has it always got to be zombies? Anyway, here’s the dream:

Background: a piece of grassland. I was on a mini-bus/van/car with chairs around and a large space in the middle, sitting with about 3 other people facing each other. I think we were some sort of agents, sent to kill the zombies in an extremely dangerous mission. We were in the car waiting for something, and we’re not supposed to let anybody know that we were there. There was one female zombie wandering outside, so we tried not to make too much noise. (oh come on, just one bloody zombie… why didn’t I just shoot her?) A guy on the car kept opening the door, and the female zombie put her face through the gap (oh wow she’s pretty!), trying to ‘look’ what’s inside of this car. I forced the door closed (not sure what happened to the female zombie…), and shouted at the guy “I told you not to open the door!”, like ordering him, but I immediately realised that I was too bad-tempered.

We waited for a bit, then I told the people that it’s about time we proceed to another place, before somebody arrived. As the car moved (who’s driving? No idea!), I saw that in fact we were a little late on the go, as people we were avoiding were on the way already. The car drove a little faster and ‘ducked’ into a lower plateau, and I hoped the people hadn’t seen us. “Good. Don’t think they saw us.”

We got out of the car and joined the mob of people whom we were trying to avoid (??!), and they didn’t know that we were enemies (they’re some other agents, so we were spies). We joined on another car and they drove us to a place like a modern university. There we did a play or pantomime or something like that. I was in it but I recorded it with my camcorder. Afterwards, I decided that it’s time we carry out some action.

I’m not exactly sure if the dream really ended here, but I can’t remember anything now. I’m only sure that we didn’t blow our identity, but I don’t think we carried out the mission in the end. Hmph.

So the interpretation: I give up… too hard to put so many contradicting interpretations together into a conclusion. Something like parts of my greater self are stalking me (what does it mean, anyway?), I have personal power, I’m ready for action, I’m repairing my self image, etc. Conflicting desires! That’s what. I somehow wanted to save the friendship, yet I realise that she’s not a person worth being with!

Just had some funny conversation on ICQ with my bro. I found it amusing anyway.

Me: I heard they have to do oral excam for chinese now in AL
Bro: heard that there’ll be chinese oral
Me: so stupid. almost everybody can speal peoper chinese
Bro: not really
Me: ooops I just typed like I was drunk
Bro: haha
Me: I mean almost everybody who does chinese speak proper chinese
Bro: i know what you mean but i think people chinese oral is not like speaking chinese…
Bro: people chinese oral-.-?
Bro: what do i mean?
Bro: i was drunk
Me: both of us

The excitement has gone. Totally. Boredom sets in. I still love my layout, but I can’t remember what I did for five hours. That really doesn’t look like anything people will spend five hours on. Five effing hours. First day of half-term, and here I am, using the computer, typing my diary as usual. Can’t believe what’s going on in life. I do so much, yet people don’t make any effort of showing any sign of recognition whatsoever. Nobody gives a shit.

Checked Neopets. Jacky logged in at the very same time as me. And yet, he didn’t send me any Neomail. Nothing. He doesn’t even bother saying “Hey, you have a new layout.” or “Ecomplanet is not gone, just temporarily down.” Maybe he has stopped reading ages ago. Stopped listening to me rant about my life. Stopped caring about what goes on.

Feel so shitty all over. I should be working on Mechanics 2, my next exam. I will, eventually. I hate talking about universities. How I have to pretend to be an expert in higher education in UK. I’m not, and I seriously don’t give a fuck. People don’t come to me or add me to their ICQ list until they need me. They’re obviously just using me. I still have to smile at them and say, “Don’t worry, although you haven’t talked to me for ages and apparently you’re not interested in my life, I’ll still help you sort out your univerisity problem. What did you want again? Oh yeh, advice. I got rejected by all the universities I applied to, but I’m sure I’m still useful, otherwise you won’t be talking to me.”

It’s my terrible PMS. Terrible, terrible PMS.

I was in a really happy mood the whole of the morning and afternoon, until I came back from the boarding-house Performing Arts (Talent Night) rehearsal. No, it wasn’t that, the rehearsal was great and our quartet has improved a lot. It’s… maybe I do expect too much from my friends. I was kind of pissed off and went to talk to Wan about it, then she said, “She’s like that.” Wan was right. The person who must not be named didn’t act different at all, it’s just me who thought she’s only what she’s usually like; what I wanted her to be. I just have to get used to it, like how I got used to the other case.

Anyway, something happy. My Biology coursework scored a high 50/60!! Weeeee!!! I could still be the worst in the class but that was my personal best. I got full marks in planning (8/8) and implementing (7/7), and Ms Carrick commented something like “fluent English, use of scientific vocab” or something like that and gave me the last mark in my planning (not everybody manages!). : Thank you, Ms Carrick!

Some more happy stuff. Like I said our quartet was doing better, and we were just on our first rehearsal tonight. Our quartet consists of 2 violins, a clarinet and a cello. Funny combination because we don’t have a viola player. We’re playing ‘Greensleeves’, and it sounds pretty nice. I’m faking vibrato on my 2nd violin. Haha!

Yet some more happy news. Jacky has finally received his birthday card, and he seemed to like it.