I so l33t even my total play time for the week agrees

So, like, I guess this is the post where I lose my last 2 subscribers.

Oh. Wait. One is myself.

The index finger didn’t and doesn’t hurt, which explains why I didn’t notice until I got blood on my face. The little finger… is another story. I totally can’t bend my fingers and hold a pen now. I demand an extension for my essays! (Essays are typed, Vickie.)

Next episode: new layout for Vickiepedia. And then maybe one of the six entries sitting in draft. *crickets*

I pray, when you boot me up from sleep mode next morning, please grant me the following plugin / software on my humble human body.

1. Pronunciation checker:

   

   (I’d ask for a grammar checker, too, but let’s start with the basics, shall we?)

2. Search function:

   

   (I promise, I’ll search for more meaningful things and answers once I find my other stripy sock.)

3. Strong and emphasis tags:

   

4. Appear offline function:

   

5. Maybe also a lesbiandar?! Wow, let’s not be too greedy there.

Actually, don’t worry about any of the above. Please cleanse me of “Procrastination” because it’s a total RAM hog, and I kinda have 1 more mid-semester exam and 2 essays to hand in soon.

Have mercy on me, O FSM. RAmen!

Vickie

In my computer and Internet life, there’s such a thing as Vickie’s Doomed Computer and Internet Life Triangle. Computer, Internet, time — lucky if you get any. Strongest theory of all, never failed even once.

I originally had a 3-month Summer break, which ended up being a 3-month contract as a temporary clerk. Fortunate or unfortunate; time, gone.

I originally brought my awesomesauce hard disc drive, graphics card and RAM sticks over so I could use them on my Dad’s computer and stay awesome. Little did I guess that my Dad’s motherboard can’t handle any of those. Computer, gone.

We originally had cheap, high-quality, super-speedy, unmetred broadband connection that many people take for granted in Hong Kong. Mum got sick of wires all over the place so Dad bought a wireless router. Online gaming had since become disconnections after disconnections. Internet, gone.

Despite that, I still managed to achieve my short-term goal, planned for the holidays, in Guild Wars.

And ironically, got accepted as a staffer for the Computer Miscellany and Internet category of TheFanlistings.org.

Life sure is… interesting.

Please don’t make me hate you more, brain.

… I think I’ve finally levelled up and am one step closer to completing the main mission “Conquering Entomophobia (Surrender Is Not an Option)“.

But of course, there are always all these annoyingly distractive side quests: “Pr0n”, “Guild Wars“, “Wash the Dishes”, “Mop the Floor”, “Do the Laundry”, “University Assignments” — some more fun than the others.

No way! I didn’t just put “University Assignments” under side quests. Priorities, Vickie! Priorities!

Wow! A solid pass! Okay, the assessor was most probably just feeling generous and this is so not something to announce to the world and be proud of; but still! *does lucky dance*

Speaking of amazing myself, I don’t know how I could also actually convince myself that “But it’s raining!” was a valid excuse not to do my assignments. Alas.

Edit: LOL I totally misspelt “sociological”. *explodes*

Remember to remove all batteries from all toys after using them, especially the ultra quiet ones, even when you’re sure you already switched them off. Stop telling people you’re jealous of the air being vibrated all night. That’s just freaky. Also make sure you always have spare batteries. Don’t bang your head against the wall when you don’t. That doesn’t help.

P.S. You forgot to introduce Trusties #4, 5 and 6 to people, so I shall do it for you:

… Oh my goodness. You brought the camcorder USB cord over here instead of the one for your digital camera. You bloody idiot!

Mysterious Voice: Yo, Vickie.
Vickie: … Karma?! Is that you? Haven’t heard from you for ages!
Karma: No shit. Listen, here’s the deal. I know it’s raining and you’re feeling generally lethargic, but if you’d get your lazy arse out of the house today and go buy the lab coat you need for next Monday…
Vickie: …
Karma: Or if you go tomorrow, so help me, in addition to having to walk in the rain, you’d also get hit on by a random guy at the station who would follow you for another 3 minutes after you got off the train, then arrive at the shop that sells your lab coat riiiight after it closes, then head back home with nothing but $5 down the drain and wet trouser legs. Oh, I’m not even going to let you know what’s happening on Sunday.
Vickie: Ha! Yeh, whatever. Late!

Saturday, August 05, 2006:
Karma you bitch, I hate you so very much.

I went ahead and sent myself a Gmail invite. I’ve always used vickiediablos as my moniker. Desired Login Name: “vickie.diablos” Beautiful. Check availability.

vickie.diablos is not available…

The hell? As far as I know, I’m the only Vickie Diablos on the ‘net. As far as I know, I’m not popular. As far as I know, nobody hates me that much. But why, how, what, where, when… vickie.diablos couldn’t have been taken. The person who took it must be up to something. Impersonation… Oh, the damage they could do.

I was about to panic, about to explode, about to warn every person I knew online and offline that vickie.diablos was not me. But Ms Sense came knocking on the door. Thankfully.

“Oh puh-lease, Vickie,” said she.

In the end, I discovered that it was actually Gmail being thoughful not to allow people to register accounts with the same username regardless of the number of periods between the alphabets. I almost made a bigger fool of myself trying to save my non-existent reputation.

If only Ms Sense would marry me… Will you marry me? Aww, come on. Don’t be mean.