“This is a five-by-four screen,” I said. “You’re still using a four-by-three resolution on it.”

She blinked.

“You know? The ratio? Five… to… four,” I explained, accompanied with body motions that somewhat resembled the chicken dance.

Turns out when someone doesn’t speak your “language”, speaking slowly or doing the chicken dance doesn’t really help.

I grabbed her mouse as she continued to look at me in confusion. Minimise all, right click, click, click, click, click: 1280×1024; there, a correct screen resolution for a shiny new screen. I smiled, satisfied, and turned to walk away (casually noting the lingering confusion on the colleague’s face), giving myself a mental pat on the shoulder for an unpaid job well done.

“OH MY GOD!” A scream of terror.

I paused, thinking if I’d forgotten to apply the new screen resolution setting properly so the screen had automatically reverted back to 1024×768 while she’s admiring the sharper images. It didn’t.

“Why is everything so tiny? Why do I look so fat in the picture?!” She cried.

And then I cried too.

(She insisted on switching back to 1024×768. I undid my mental pat on the shoulder and complied.)