Oh Em Eff Gee! No, no, I’m indeed not dead. In fact, the lazy arse actually managed to find a decent temporary job while waiting for her next university life to commence (hopefully) in February. You see, there’s so much to write about everything, I simply couldn’t decide on one topic to babble on about. I rolled a dice; now I shall present whoever still visits with yet another embarrassing story in everybody’s favourite category (woohoo?).

As everybody already knows, I do it solo all night every night. Literally. Well, sort of. Aaanyway, since I’m not really as open and selfish as people thought I am, I always keep everything down — especially considering that I still live with my parents, and the brother’s room is just next to mine.

So then there was this weekend that Bro and I decided to play an old and out(?) game called Beat Mania on the PlayStation together. We played through every single song once, until this song called “Do It All Night” popped up. We’ve played the song so many times over the years.

It’s so your song,” Bro commented suddenly while the song was loading. “You do it all night.

Speechless, I sat there, not sure whether to laugh or blush or argue or deny. “Caught ya!” I could almost hear my brother say. It’s not that people don’t already know what I do all the time, but to be “confronted” like that after so many nights… Gosh, perhaps he’s been waiting for this chance to tell me that he knew when I’d been doing it all along.

I headed back to my room after supper and took trusty vibrator #2 out. Now that I think about it, Trusty #2 is actually rather loud even when it wasn’t on full power. It must be her that Bro knew. It had to be.

I looked at the vibrator one last time: it’s rather worn out being used so frequently for almost 4 years. See, that little piece was kind of falling out, the other side wouldn’t start sometimes and I almost had to kick it to get it working, and the batteries always choose the best time to die…

I giggled at the thought despite myself; considered chucking the vibrator in the bin for a moment but decided against it. Perhaps. Perhaps she’d be useful again one day.

“It’s been fun, Trusty #2, really,” I told her as I gently placed her back to where she always rested. “Rest in peace, darling. I’ll miss you.”

But oh, this can’t possibly be the end of Vickie’s fun nightlife. What is it you say you see Vickie has in her hands? That’s right! Trusty vibrator #3: bigger, better and much quieter.

Heh heh.

Guess what I did last night?

Yep, I had fun with trusty vibrator #2 again. (For your information, it’s my most favourite sex toy, so it shouldn’t surprise you that it’s mentioned all over the place.)

And of course, you guessed the rest of the story. I was too tired to put trusty vibrator #2 away after the mind-blowing orgasm, and completely forgot about it in the morning. My maid made my bed and must have known that I masturbated blah blah blah.

But there’s more to it this time.

This time my brother caught me forgetting to hide it…

Well, actually, trusty vibrator #2 doesn’t look too much like a sex toy anyway, so you might think that there isn’t much to worry about.

Not if my brother picked it up and asked what it was, then without a satisfying (no pun intended) answer, switched it on and saw it all vibrating and stuff.

Good god, why don’t I ever learn to tidy up after I use something?

Oh god, how embarrassing… how very embarrassing!

You know, I masturbate. I own vibrators and dildos. I like to do it before I sleep.

I did it last night, and had a terrific orgasm; so terrific that I fell asleep immediately after it. Oh yes, I used trusty vibrator #2.

I forgot about everything this morning. Got up, ate, shat, made a couple site layouts while watching TV… the day went on, until when I go back to my room again after supper…

I found that trusty vibrator #2 was just lying around my pillow.

Which means, I forgot to “hide” trusty vibrator #2 after my business.

Which means, when my maid (who lives with us at home) cleaned my room and tidied my bed, saw the vibrator just lying around like that.

Which also means, that she knew I masturbated last night using this vibrator.

How very embarrassing is that!